Wife goes vegetarian, needs help feeding her non-veg husband

For about the past year, I have been having very painful digestive issues.

Approximately 20 minutes after eating, i get horrible stomach cramps and one way or another, that food is coming back out. I have pinpointed it to meats, fatty foods, fried foods, heavy creams and greasy cheeses.

I have been to the doctor multiple times and they can not give me any answers. I have completely cut the above foods out of my diet and consider myself to now be a vegetarian.

There is only one problem: my husband is not vegetarian and now I find myself unsure of what to make for dinner every night.

I do not want to force my unfortunate diet on him, so I make him dinner first. he feels bad and tells me he can “grab something” but I don’t want him to come into unhealthy eating habits because I can’t eat what I cook for him anymore.

I am exhausted when I get home from work (we both have very demanding jobs) and I truly don’t know how to make vegetarian dishes (I grew up in a big italian family so the more meat the better). I worry that I am not getting the nutrients that I need and am worried about my overall health.

What are some quick, easy yet tasty dishes I can make that he can enjoy also but won’t make me sick?? Since I have cut out meat and greasy foods my stomach issues have subsided and this is definately a diet that I am going to make my lifestyle (I really don’t even miss meat).

I need help and guidance!!

Bethany S.

Hi Bethany,

Have you had tests such as an endoscopy, where they take pictures of your upper gi tract? That’s how I was diagnosed with bleeding ulcers 18 years ago. The conclusion was that I produce too much stomach acid.

Since then I’ve followed a restricted ayurvedic diet which sounds similar to what you’ve worked out for yourself.

So it makes perfect sense to me that you need to follow a strict vegetarian diet. But that doesn’t help you with your cooking problem!

I deal at length with this issue in my free report Veg/Non-Veg Eat Together. If you’d like to read it, here’s the link ^[1].

Basically, your different diets are not as big a deal as you think. There’s no need for you to make separate meals for your husband. And your diet isn’t unfortunate, it’s necessary.

Anybody can happily eat anything in a vegetarian diet, but the opposite - vegetarians eating meat - doesn’t work. So you need to base your cooking for both of you on the most restricted diet - yours. Fortunately, there are plenty of easy recipes on Savvy Vegetarian that you and your husband could eat together and enjoy.

You could also make soups and stews, grains and beans and lentils in quantity, and freeze or fridge them for quick easy meals. Take a look at the Savvy Vegetarian recipes ^[2] and find some that you think will work for both of you - there are many recipe on Savvy Veg that are Italian style or can be adapted to an Italian diet.

Your husband could have meat on the side and be responsible for that part of the meal. Or he could add meat to his part of whatever you make. Take him up on his offer to help you, and his desire to make your life easier.

I know it’s a challenge to overcome your Italian upbringing, which says that you and you alone are responsible for feeding everybody in your household and making them happy and healthy with the food you provide. But for the sake of your own health and happiness, you need to step outside that box and create a new domestic paradigm that works for you.

You and your husband both work outside the home at demanding jobs and produce income. Doesn’t it make sense that you should both contribute to food production?

Even if his part is just buying and cooking the meat, maybe setting the table, and loading the dishwasher. I’m sure that your husband wants you to be rested, healthy and happy, and that he is capable of being much more flexible and generous than you’re allowing him to be.

Perhaps my approach wasn’t what you were expecting, but there really is no other solution that I can see, and I hope my advice helps you.

All the best, Judith Kingsbury

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