Non Vegetarians Feeding Vegetarian

Friends In A Tizzy Over Vegetarian Food

Would you please write something for non vegetarians about how to feed someone on a vegetarian diet. This is my number one problem when visiting people.

I'm quite relaxed about it, but by the time I get there, they have worked themselves into a tizzy.

You'd think I was an exotic pet - like a night or two of improper nutrition would have me floating belly up in my bowl. What do I tell them? - Z. K.

Savvy Vegetarian Advice

Dear Z. K.,

If someone (I hope not you) has been foolish enough to inform your hosts that you're a vegetarian, just tell them that you're not a picky eater (it's ok to lie) and please don't cook anything but what they'd normally make.

But part of being a good host is to feed guests and make them happy, so let them work themselves into a tizzy if they insist. Who are you to interfere with a Good Tizzy!

Thank them profusely for any efforts on your behalf, and eat it too! Ask for seconds. A few tears and hugs would be good. And always wash the dishes.

Don't cook any wonderful vegetarian food in their kitchen - you'll just get in their way, and make them feel even more inadequate.

If they see you floating belly-up in your bowl, best to just ignore you, but please don't flush you down the toilet, because you only look dead!